Love thy buttocks!
I, on the other hand just needed a friend I could trust. Maybe even enjoy some dancing to shake off those empty spirits clinging to me like toilet paper does to the arse when you drop a sticky poop! That’s why you should always carry ‘Huggies’, the gods have had smooth cheeks since creation, laughing at us from above grinding our teeth with each wipe of recycled wood shavings! Even Adam and Eve used leafs and totally understood the phrase ‘Your barking up the wrong tree’. When the hell were we told by our mothers that we are now old enough to wipe our sphincters with the same material once used for two signatures to sign away their souls in a promise now regurgitated into the basin of a toilet with last night’s Vindaloo? I was the ‘Lord Of The Ring Stings’ for way too long until the 8th wonder of the world spoke green in the baby aisle of which previously I had never ventured down before? I no longer run backwards in the cornfields, but slide effortlessly on luscious grass fields leaving ‘El Bano’ like a 64 Pink Chevy pulling out of a car wash.